Old enough to know but too young to care...

So once I stood up last night to go find socks and gym shorts to go for a run, I realized that my foot was still hurting from walking around in sandals all day yesterday. So no run. I just went to bed. I just spent an hour or so just lying in bed watching the fan turn, feeling the breeze come in. And now I've awoken to a beautiful day that I doubt I'll enjoy. I'm determined to try to enjoy it though.

I woke up to messages from our drummer telling us that he, once again, can't bring his own drums to our show tonight because he was too lazy to pick them yesterday or get up early enough this morning to get them before work. Since we have to load in at 5 in Philly, he can't be back from work in time to pick them up and then get back there by load-in. Despite how I feel, we're going to bring the drums for him this third and final time because a) it's our last show we have booked (possibly, and seeming more probable, our last show with Steve as drummer,) b) I'd much rather play a show at North Star Bar than leave his drums home just out of principle.

I've just had enough of everyone not caring. Congrats, everyone, I've jumped on the bandwagon. Our drummer doesn't care enough to come to a single practice in the month of June and, maybe I get too worked up about it but, nobody seems to really care. I can only go so long being the only one trying. So now I'm done. As I'm writing this, it just seems bitter. And it is. He wants to know what time we play tonight. If I tell him, I'll be he'd show up right before we play and leave immediately after. Maybe that's good though. I don't want to not care about this anymore; the band is one my favorite things to do and I'm glad we've had it. It's just too hard when nobody cares most of the time but then we it comes time to get information for shows and make decisions everyone looks at me. This may be our swan song and I hope it's catchy for those who have been nice enough to come out to our shows.

So, in my determination to enjoy this day, I have to get away from the computer and go outside. It's really nice outside, there is a breeze and I'm going to go for a run and maybe play a game of disc golf by myself. Let's hope today turns out better than I hope.

In the eternal words of Lloyd Dobbler: "If you start out depressed, everything's kind of a pleasant surprise."

dm.