About rain

Is it raining where you are?
It hasn’t stopped for a while here
I wonder if it’s real anymore
Or if I’m seeing clouds where its clear
The last puddle I had to jump over
Soaked the back of my legs
And the umbrella that kept me dry
Is gone like the last words you said
The door is unlocked to come in
But the heater’s still broken
Colder inside than out
Like stories heard but not spoken
Stairways well-lit by lamps
Dusted off like shelves in an attic
Streaks unite the sky with ground
And the change in temperature is dramatic

I want to know your plans

Welcome to apathy. Or is it numbness. I wonder how I can be so affected by everything, yet so oblivious to it at the same time. I need something to keep me believing that the world's not gone dead. The news I got recently is hard to deliver, because I'm so unaffected by it for some reason. It's something that should be hitting me pretty hard, but I feel like the only way I can properly express it is through typing, so I can use the correct punctuation to convey the feelings I should be feeling.

How long can I drive towards a brick wall before I turn the wheel and get back on a road that's going somewhere? I don't have a map, but I've got a pretty good sense of direction. It's much easier without a backseat driver and I left my conscious tied up to the train tracks with black ribbon. I can't follow the plans I don't have since I never thought I'd get this far anyway. Maybe confidence isn't one of my better qualities but in these neighborhoods, showing off something like that could get you killed.

Open wounds, out of tune,
Carried away on the wind,
Singing them back to me,
Keep their melody in my head,
Finger paint, on your face,
Another artist's work displayed,
Showing it off to me,
Reminder of what I can't be,
Bitter words, weigh down your tongue,
Saving them for quick retorts,
I'll be your mirror,
So just spit them out at me,
Cold winds, bumps on your skin,
Here to warn you of Winter,
My tree's losing leaves and color,
I need some care to last to Spring.

/dm

A little far for me to reach

I can see you hanging,
Feet limp and dangling,
From the thumbtack on my wall,
Hanging, waiting to cut and fall,
The best damn actress,
Flowered and backless,
Dress held up by a spine I can't see,
Keeping your thoughts safe from me,
The fairy tale is endless,
I'll call my next witness,
Lying in bed while you're lying,
In bed, to me.

...dm

Don't say a word

I've been doing nothing today because there's nothing to do.
Listening to music and reading.
I'm about to go out and take some pictures to be productive.
Sure, I've got some homework but that's for later.

I'm ready for Autumn to arrive.
We shouldn't have the air conditioning on in October.

I would have just asked her
But that would be so out of character
I'm feeling off-center
All my letters have been returned to their sender

I can scream because nobody's listening.

These leaves remind me of you...
Beautiful no matter what color they're wearing.

Take me home

It's still wet outside, but I can see things now.
Yesterday provided an awesome storm for me to watch.
The wind blew out the sun like a candle with its breath of black clouds.
The trees staggered in the gales like early morning drunks.
And the rain came down in sheets.
I never really understood that term until yesterday.
I enjoyed myself next to the window, just watching.

It's another early morning for me.
Another day destined to disappoint.
I guess nine days is enough to kill my batteries.
I need a re-charge.
Anyone wanna take a trip with me? Just a quick one.

~
I'll make some really nice plans out of clay
And bake them in the kiln of your mind
So I can take them out and adore them
Just to smash them on the ground outside

I'll hold this idea out in front of you
So you can smell it turning to anticipation
And pull it away as your mouth is watering
So your saliva quickly turns to tears

I'll stop by the store to get another chance
That you can use and lose like the others
I've been saving up for a while now
And I'll just go out and get you another

I'll read page after page of this novel
Hoping to find myself trapped in the words
This bystander needs to take action
Maybe as a villain to become a main character

*dm*

Over and out (the door)

The sun is up, but its dark in my room.
I've got nothing of note to say.
Just staring at the sunlight on my wall filtered through my curtains.
Your words credit me with the downfall of all that is good.
When I only try to do right for you.
I can't be perfect, but I guess I don't try hard enough.
That regulation area in my brain doesn't work very well sometimes.
And sometimes it works all too well, you know.
Holding my thoughts hostage like a dam holding a reservoir.
And when it comes down, hold your breath because you're going to be submerged.
You've seen this, done this.
I almost feel like you know how to swim in my waters.
Almost.

Sometimes I think being able to sketch a picture of these words would be more helpful.
What would I draw where my eyes go?
Crystal balls that can see the future but can't change it..?
And my mouth?
A political bullhorn shouting what you want to hear until the press has packed and left..?
My heart?
A glass.. half-full or half-empty; either way waiting to be topped off or finally drained of the rest..
My mind..
A camera. With unlimited exposures and the ability to adjust the aperture and contrast to make any picture look amazing to me..
And at my feet?
A road less-traveled, forking at another juncture; legs waiting for the glass in my chest or the pictures in my head to urge them forward in one direction.

Of all the fruitless searches,
You can trace the footsteps back to love,
Looking for solace in that vessel,
Finding a home for your insecurities,
Locking them in the bottom of that chest,
The lock secured by state and minister,
The tinder cured by the soul you've chosen,
To keep the rain from wearing it away,
That soul can't keep the seal forever,
You can stop the rain and shine on for them,
Or pour down in torrents,
Releasing the lock that held you together.

...you can only do what you think is right
...losing faith, but thinking you gained insight
...blame yourself or blame your friends
...it's you who suffers in the end
...of turmoil and nights without a prayer
...search on, but no one will be there
...aiming low can't make bad look better
...she can't destroy this if you don't let her.

~shineon~dm~

Just let me

I'm listening to new songs that will soon be old favorites.
I have this familiar feeling of my dreams washing away in heavy rains.
Like I'm making that call and dialing every number just to hang up when it rings once.
I miss smiles that are just for me.
The ones that stretch across my face when you leave me with that feeling.
The ones that show up with my back to you, against a door or my car.
The ones I direct at your back, watching your hair for movement suggesting you'd turn for one last look before I'm gone.
I wish this space between us was only geography.
I'm unplugged electric and I'm ready to be turned on.
I need to feel that touch.
That shock to my system I get touching your exposed wires.
I'm just the scraps that cling to your notebook wire after you rip out a page.
I'm ready to be the pages penned full of poetry you love.
I can fill the space between the covers.

(dm)

"Just let me sing you to sleep.. Rest assured if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in, plant my lips where your necklaces close." ~ tsc