Stormclouds & Heartbeats

The rain is witness to perfection.
The drops fall in sync with my heart's beating.
We are clouds ripped apart by lightning,
making a thunderous gesture to rejoin one another.
Savoring this cold and wet embrace,
I become numb to the weather.
Staring deep into that beautiful unknown,
I sound out smiles.
I hold out a departure until the smallest morning hour.
As the rain stops, I bid this love adieu..
and wait eagerly for it's return.

.lovegetswet.dm.

Headlights on a Dark Road

Walking through the darkness, a light appears in the distance. Unexpected and inspiring, I am reaching out towards it, but still miles away. I savor each moment the light washes upon my face, for I know that at any moment it could dissapear like a mirage in the desert. So tie my hands back, and I'll tread on towards the brightness. After staring for so long, I turn away dizzy and disoriented. Each awkward step forward brings me closer to brilliance. Step, step, one at a time, careful and unyielding, until I am one with the light.

Some things I wrote a while ago:
9/19/06
"Rhetoric"
How are we supposed to move on?
True, life waits for no one--
but it stops altogether for some.
Without justification or warning
How do we find closure?
If love is eternal,
although this idea seems as man-made as religion,
how do you love again?
Wouldn't you simply be loving more?
How big can a heart get?
How much love can one fist-sized organ hold?
My poetic hands can't grasp this romantic feat.

9/20/06
It's time for me to say hello to letting go
Time to wake up and greet defeat
I wish I could give you a pint of the ink flowing through my veins
So you could write my story
Burn the words that should never have been penned
I'm weighing the odds and you're tipping the scales,
yet I'm hesitant to publish my results
I'm back and forth like a pendulum;
I'm ready to stop
I wonder who might be whispering in your ears as I listen to the ringing in mine.
---------------------

With every word you said,
with every breath you left,
every smile you sneak
and each laugh you squeak,
another look that screams
for a brand new dream.

+lost at the loved & found+
-dm-

The pros and cons of breathing

Summer's getting colder...
I've been thinking all day and I don't think I've had a complete thought.
It's easier to think about inconsequential things. For example:
I'd like get some fireworks soon. Just watching something sparkle and blow up makes me feel like a kid.
Remember Razzles? They were candy then gum. They were awesome.
I'd like to learn to play piano someday.
Skiing season will be here before you know it, you can bet you'll find me on the slopes the first opportunity I get.

I'm going to continue my trivial thoughts elsewhere, somewhere a lot colder.
Goodnight.

.lovelost.dm.

Sometimes it just feels better to give in..

I'm feeling numb. Only in my head though. I don't feel safe.

I know it's not what you deserve.

Let the lightning strike me down.

You know where to find me. Watching my reflection. Judging.

Staring at my own lying eyes as I tell myself I'll be just fine.

Goodbye.

This has been said so many times...

I love the night time. I love stars. I love cool nights after hot days.
Everything seems so much more genuine, but at the same time more surreal.
Sometimes I think I can feel myself getting older.
It's like you can just sit back and watch time pass by.
I don't think it's possible to love too much, but it seems like it sometimes.
Think of the best night you've ever had.. just that one that always will put a smile on your face, no matter what's going on...
Now set out to make more of those moments, because this is when it counts.

~loveorleave~ .dm.

Cyanidentification

How come I sleep through things I'm supposed to be up for, but when I need to get to sleep I can't do it?

I went for a drive the other night. Just the road, my thoughts and the rain. Though I did stumble onto a pot of gold.
Another rhetorical question: why do all the words that have been in my head suddenly escape me when I finally have the opportunity to get them out?

I'm almost through mourning the summer, I'm looking forward to the first snow.

Six Flags tomorrow morning.. this morning... gonna go read Haunted until I can't keep my eyes open any longer.

>live.love<
dm

Something dies when you grow older..

..but you do the best you can. - bn f.o.y.demons

I'm uncomfortable right now; uncertain, worried, anxious, overwhelmed.
Just not feeling myself today.
Like I'm a beta version of a program that's well advanced from where I am.

I want to be proud.
I want to make people proud-- the real proud, not the kind they tell you to make you feel good about yourself.
I want to do something worthy of a smile and a wave.
Every day that passes is a page in my past, I know I could have written something better.

All motion is pantomime.

I'm walking in the rain just to try and steal some thunder.
I need to be struck by something to electrify me again.
I never really burn out, just get dimmer sometimes.

It's like trying to be your shadow.
As hard as you try, you can only be three-dimensional.
You can touch your shadow, but you can't really feel it.
It can mimic a lot of your motion, but can't have a personality.
Except I'm my own shadow and I can't get to myself.
And I can't reach out from the wall I'm cast on.
I'm stuck, emotionless and dark.
An outline of life.
A mimic of motion.
Existing only because of a light-
Shining like a happy ending to our story, started so long ago.
Someone flip the switch and turn me out.

please enjoy the writing while your party is being reached:

Dot your i's with my heart
and sign it with an X and an O
Postmark the envelope with love
and send it back in time to me
I'll keep this letter open
along with my door
Before I die, just let me wake
The sight and the smell are more than I can take

--> This mess written on recyclable life <--

d(ead)m(an)

I'm burning like a beacon..

Surrounded by water, feels like I could never drown fast enough.
Waves crashing, grieving for souls it has already stolen.
I watch the ship sail into the wind, over the horizon.
Away from this jealous shore.
Every grain of sand on this beach is a missed opportunity.
The cool night air gently caresses my face before it smacks me hard like the end of summer.
Let's combat the cold a little longer.
Hold it at bay for another couple months.
Let's climb monuments and watch the land stretch out over miles.
And watch skylines light up as the sun goes out.
I'll bring some parts of home to foreign soil.
Spend some time at the water's edge restoring feeling to your hands.
With a soundtrack of cds we've ruined for ourselves.
The life of an autumn night.
These are the pebbles to your windowpane.

----------------------

Ringing in your ears like a hanging note.
I'm turning up the bass and the treble.
Hear me screaming from the speakers.
Feel my vibrations in your fingertips.
Sing along to the words you know so well.
Am I your favorite song?
Tap your foot to the beat I follow in your mind.
Sway your shoulders with the melody.
Breathe in and out with the rhythm.
Close your eyes and see the landscape I invent.
Nod your head with each changing chord.
Cymbal crash--I'm gone.

+love is in the details+dm+

We are the monsters underneath your bed

All your idols are creased and glossy
Measure their worth by the weight of their shadows
Don't waste your breath
Mirrors are the enemy
March on
Down with the empire of cover up
Stop creating another eating disorder
Find another hole in the fabric of true love
Follow this addiction down a well-worn path
Wake up the alarm
Explore the vastness of the inner skin
Choose your company by the beating of their hearts-
not the swelling of their heads.

Autumn (weather, at least) brings the best setting for love. No snow to be tackled into, but the cool air just seems to require smiles and beckon for hand holding. I think of autumn as a time to be in a park for some reason. It just seems right. A park at night, with fallen leaves all around, sitting on a swingset facing opposite directions under a single streetlight. It seems ideal anyway.
Here's to dead leaves and long sleeves.

--love--
dm

Don't hate me....

...because I'm beautiful.

Treat your eyes:

Love me.
I do.


My sister's wedding is tomorrow, I have to go mingle with family now.

*dm*

I've been thinking...

September.

It seems like just the other day I was surprised it was already August. The summer has been good, but I feel like I've slept away too many days. I need to spend this month making up for August. The night air is cool, a fitting welcome to the month that ends summer.

This town will never be the same.

I feel very nostalgic tonight. The weather paired with the stereo playing Konstantine has me dwelling in days past. It doesn't take much.

I would like to do a choreographed dance on a treadmill.

I'm writing something. It's the beginning to a story. Don't call it autobiographical. I'm not sure what it will end up being. I feel like I could go somewhere with it. I have a lot to say, it just seems like I don't have the words to say it. I've wanted to write a screenplay, but if I do, I think I'll start with a short novel type of story first. I can't write in just dialogue, I need description and words. I want to build a picture in someone's mind, not on a movie set. However, I need to get these pictures out of my mind before I can present them to anyone. No one will read it anyway.

It's not hard to dream...