Over and out (the door)

The sun is up, but its dark in my room.
I've got nothing of note to say.
Just staring at the sunlight on my wall filtered through my curtains.
Your words credit me with the downfall of all that is good.
When I only try to do right for you.
I can't be perfect, but I guess I don't try hard enough.
That regulation area in my brain doesn't work very well sometimes.
And sometimes it works all too well, you know.
Holding my thoughts hostage like a dam holding a reservoir.
And when it comes down, hold your breath because you're going to be submerged.
You've seen this, done this.
I almost feel like you know how to swim in my waters.
Almost.

Sometimes I think being able to sketch a picture of these words would be more helpful.
What would I draw where my eyes go?
Crystal balls that can see the future but can't change it..?
And my mouth?
A political bullhorn shouting what you want to hear until the press has packed and left..?
My heart?
A glass.. half-full or half-empty; either way waiting to be topped off or finally drained of the rest..
My mind..
A camera. With unlimited exposures and the ability to adjust the aperture and contrast to make any picture look amazing to me..
And at my feet?
A road less-traveled, forking at another juncture; legs waiting for the glass in my chest or the pictures in my head to urge them forward in one direction.

Of all the fruitless searches,
You can trace the footsteps back to love,
Looking for solace in that vessel,
Finding a home for your insecurities,
Locking them in the bottom of that chest,
The lock secured by state and minister,
The tinder cured by the soul you've chosen,
To keep the rain from wearing it away,
That soul can't keep the seal forever,
You can stop the rain and shine on for them,
Or pour down in torrents,
Releasing the lock that held you together.

...you can only do what you think is right
...losing faith, but thinking you gained insight
...blame yourself or blame your friends
...it's you who suffers in the end
...of turmoil and nights without a prayer
...search on, but no one will be there
...aiming low can't make bad look better
...she can't destroy this if you don't let her.

~shineon~dm~