An army of penguins...

Send me away, I am uninspired.
I feel robotic.
Standing atop tall buildings doesn't fill me with awe anymore.
Sure, I was there. But it didn't feel as high or like I was floating above the city.
This compound is missing an element.
Questions have more meaning than their answers.
I feel like exploding.
I contradict myself in thought and in action.
I'm a hole in the road, fill me in.

(dm)

I want to..

I want go on a long road trip to somewhere warm where we can drive all day and night with the windows down singing Saves the Day and old Ataris songs. Who's coming?

I know you don't wanna...

sleep here alone. ~cobrastarship

Everything seems to be it's own antithesis at times.
Nothing is really straightforward.
I feel like I'm holding the rest of my life in my arms, but dropping the ball.
My fingers trace the route I've taken before, but I want to travel this well-worn path forever.
Does that mean I'll keep trekking in this vicious circle?
Right now it doesn't seem like such a bad thing.
If only you could take a moment and wrap yourself in it like a blanket, so it completely encompasses you until you peek out for signs of life and find a cruel world that you never want to rejoin.
Maybe that is what we do sometimes, in our heads anyway.
We take for granted the things that mean everything and we dwell in the inconsequential.
"I listen to you talk, but talk is cheap."+44
You've entered my focus, but I've got myself under the microscope.
I'm going to need better instruments.
I'm an open book written in the vernacular; you just need to learn the language.
This is just the cover.

.lovealive.dm.

Not feeling well...

Birthdays are like checkpoints in life; as you round the track for another lap, you stop to evaluate your progress and assess your situation to come. It always feels like the future that everyone has been talking about since we were little is so far away, but it's really just sneaking right up behind us. I watch as some swerve and crash, heading blindly toward whatever comes their way.. and I envy them sometimes. I'm accused of sitting idly by, but I don't agree. I'm doing something for myself and I have good friends; a family that I know will be there if I need them. Having that is good enough for me, someone to be there for and someone that will be there for me.. anything else is icing.

I'm not good at sitting still. My favorite thing to do is plan things to do.. but I also enjoy the actual doing. Unfortunately a few things didn't work out to my liking, but we made the best of it and enjoyed the nice weather.

I don't know where I'll be in a year.. or even less. I'm just concerned with where I am now and where I'll be tomorrow. Maybe that's not wise; not that I'm not looking into the future at all, just that when I do, I can't see that far, so I prefer to look at something closer that I feel like I have control over. I'd like to grab ahold of the future and pull myself towards it, but I also want to savor the things I have now, because you never know when the present will cease to exist and all there will be is the past. I feel like I have immediate regrets, and that annoys me. I seem to realize that I'll regret what I'm doing as I'm doing it.. yet I don't stop myself. "Indecision is worse than the wrong decision.."(~the Sopranos) I put myself in situations that I know will cause me trouble, but it seems that I bask in it. Am I abnormal for behaving this way? Is it just something inside of me trying to escape? I don't know. If so, I'd like to find it and tear it out by the legs and drown it in the pool of sadness it's created.

"We learn from history that we do not learn from history." -Georg Hegel

.dm.