Lose, lose

You're always closer to the front of my mind than the back
At the tip of my fingers but not close enough to touch
I wish you only existed at the vector of my gaze
I don't know when I took up residence in this selfish place
Lying in the place of better men, I rest my head
Nothing that I think seems to go unsaid
I keep my hands on the wheel and my eyes fixed on the rearview
Because no matter how hard I try I can't see where this road leads to
The match was lit and it just keeps burning
You can't put out this fire and it's starting to make you worry
I imagine the eyes that would stare me down to nothing
And hands that could break me without ever touching
My eyes adjust to the dark and now I can see
It could take forever but this is where I want to be.

dm.

i hope it feels this way for you

the future doesn't exist.
only in our minds.
that's as real as the conversations we have with dead people.
i try to imagine a future--any future--but it's only an idea.
tomorrow is only possible, not definite.
it's only inevitable in our heads.
we could cease to be at any moment in time.
this is fiction.
we create the world around us.
we destroy everything that we've created.
some more than others.
tiptoe past the ones who care en route to self-destruction.
we only have the present to manipulate.
and each other.
the future is concept.
reality is in front of us but passing by with haste.
leave the past on the soles of your shoes.
the future is past.

dm