It never gets easier

I still sing along to the same songs.
I laugh at the same jokes.
No news is good news.
Sitting in park and riding the brake away.
Follow the taillights.

Don't hate me.

This message will self-destruct...

Comfort can come when and from where it is least expected sometimes.
Another night playing chicken with the sunrise, but never feeling more alive.
Is it funny how trying to be original can turn into conformity?
"Trying to stay afloat in shallow water."
The masts are holding up your sails that will pull this vessel out to sea and away from here.
The plumbing has sprung a leak, but the workers are all on holiday.
So let the basement fill up and drown like this life.
Or take the wheel and leave this fear.
Beauty is more than skin, it comes from all angles.
I'm through being cool.

These messages are all manipulations. +dm

Clouds our way

I've been absent for a while.
Not idle though, more like lying in wait.
Early mornings have a new look to them.
The sun paints the sky blue and my face with a smile.
I don't know if someone has anything to do with that or not.
Summer has almost reached it's end, but it's not over by a longshot.
We've still got plenty to do.
Night swimming should be number one on the list.
I love when movies imitate reality (my current reality at least.)
We need to get around the campfire again.
Nothing like crackling flames behind a soundtrack of good bands and best friends.

I don't want to be the lake that supplies the rivers of your tears. dm.

¦±¦

I feel like a bug that's been stepped on, but can still twitch a few legs.
I sit in this bubble as the world passes quickly by.
There's no protection from the coming rain.
My gut speaks, but no one is listening.
This is my white flag waving.
Rise and then collide.
Turn up the music to avoid confrontation.
Sometimes it just feels better to give in...
it's you I can't deny.
Indecision is playing loud on the radio.
I need some anesthesia, too.
Knock me out and pick me back up if I fall.
I know I'll be safe here.

Aim for me

My mind is holding my life at gunpoint.
Can you feel jetlag even if you were driving?
Obsession isn't always a bad thing.
My eyes are the bow and my thoughts the arrow.
I'm aiming for the apple of your eye.
Bring me back home.
(dm)

Genuine and unprepared...

I feel like I'm always saying goodbye.
I'm leaving tomorrow night for Chicago for the rest of the week.
It's going to be a busy day tomorrow, but on the way to fun.

Today was pretty awesome. Jimmy, Mandie and I went to Red Bank to meet none other than Kevin Smith.. the man himself. We did just sit around on the sidewalk for about 5 hours, but I had a good time anyway. Meeting him was great, he was really sociable and nice and took pictures and signed all the shit I had. He's really as cool as everyone makes him out to be.

My fears are rising as I'm covered by the shadow of men more than me.
Fading out like an amp that's lost power.
Scars without stories or successes.
Silence, can you hear me?
Let guilt subside.
It's not what you deserve.
I light up in the night just to illuminate you.
Don't hide who you are.
Hard as you try, the only person you can't lie to is yourself.
Fight off your demons.

"You're slipping out the back, did you really think I wouldn't notice?"

"Misuse is practice, perfected and played. In time I'm gonna get what's mine."

Don't call me towards the end.
Sit and see the sunrise.
Drowning in an ocean, feeling like it's a fishbowl life.
Pulling up these stakes that have been holding me down.
Tell me what it feels like again?
Coming out from behind my skin.
Stripping off the ivory, I can't be played like a piano anymore.
Know me by the dust on the road.
You can't know these hands until you know what they've penned.
Send me a souvenir, post it with hook, line and bait.
Don't worry, even if I miss you to death, you won't really die.

--dead to the world wide web for a while--

<-*-> dm

I am Jack's raging bile duct

The heat hits you like a slap in the face when you walk outside.
Then it knees you in the gut when you sit in your car.
The slow relief of air conditioning is hardly enough.
Tomorrow is Warped and it should be interesting, being that it's supposed to reach record high temperatures.
I'll just drink water up until I walk in the gates.
Couldn't be much worse than last year when I drank before going in and felt like I was going to pass out about an hour into the show.
Think happy thoughts.
The sounds of night are alive outside, but I'm inside with the still, warm air.
For once, I'm hoping for rain.
Well, I'm not tired, I'm going to sleep now.

Headaches and nailbiters

How much can I confide after walking 2 miles?
I can hardly catch my breath, my thoughts are far behind.
My head feels heavy, I don't know if I have too many thoughts in it or too much alcohol.
Alcohol is as bad as credit cards.
Listen to your grandparents.. not the alcoholic ones.. and leave it alone.
My side is killing me and my heels hurt.
The last day of July... meaningless of course.
I'll most likely sleep the day away since it's almost dawn now anyway.
Do pleasures just lead us away from what is truly righteous?
Is righteousness not true pleasure?
Goodnight, and hopefully not goodbye.

More later

Here I am where the sun can't reach me.
2PM and it still feels like the morning.
I hear whispers from the shower, all indiscernible hisses.
Losing day, but looking forward to night.
Hard to believe it's almost August.
I need a reason to dress nice again.
Tragic Kingdom was/is a great CD.

Take your cold, cold heart and drown...

..and don't forget to take deep breaths. +TAI

I'm glad I can still be amused as easily as when I was younger.
Give me a friend and some nintendo games and I'm good to go.
Last night we took a trip to the pretzel factory, one that was long overdue. It was pretty awesome, hanging out in the city while it was lightning like crazy and eating pretzels.
However, my plans to stay up all night never seem to work.
I've got a busy few weeks coming up, but they're going to be fun.
I'm well on my way to the best summer ever.
And I'm only about one step away from actually being paid to be unemployed.
I feel like a big bum in a way, but technically it is my money, and I have been working basically since I graduated high school. I feel like having a break. I'm enjoying myself for a while.
()()>

Blood on blood

Afternoon is the new morning.
My reflection is different but I'm still the same.
My story can be printed on recycled paper.

Last night was drinking and fun in ocean city.
Apparantly to get on the rides for free, all you have to do is ask.
We got on the log flume, house of mirrors, bumper cars, and (dave and travis) on the spinning bears.
It was great. Throw in some bubble hockey and underage girls and you've got our evening.
Apparantly it just takes a dollar in quarters for guys to prove they're tough.
On the way out of oc we stopped at the park and hung out on the play ground for a while.
Somehow, we managed to elude the police the whole night.

I don't think ghosts are actually physical apparitions, but the manifestation of our own regrets that haunt us until we can make peace with them.
Unfortunately it's not that easy to do.

I've got some calls to make.
Anyone know of any job openings?

Mind over (you don't) matter

back from va.
good times, lots of walking.
quite a few scrapes and cuts from cement and trees.
campfire conversations and nights slept under the stars (or the rain.)

sometimes it's hard not to blur the lines between dreams and reality.
i ran (away) 3 miles today.
why did i start running in the summertime?

coconut rum and coke is a great drink.
gotta pace myself with them, though.

you're nothing more than a pickpocket.
what you stole wasn't for you, i was saving it for someone special.
just a thief in sheep's clothing.
a con artist.
stockpiling matches to burn all those bridges.
hurry, before gas goes up again.
you're yesterday's news and today's refuse.
dm.

Your Guts (I Hate 'Em)

So I've been silent for a few days, but not idle.
I went to see Reel Big Fish and MxPx on Friday and Sunday. The fish put on their usual amazing performance and MxPx was quite good as well.
The past two days were just spent relaxing a little bit, staying out of the 100+ degree heat.
Tomorrow I leave for Virginia for 5 days. We'll be living it up at water parks and historical tours.

Of course I can't go without mentioning the reclaimation of our trio, the three of us back together again, getting wasted and acting stupid like old times. We were on a bumpy road for a while, but we're heading back in the right direction.

Don't come lookin' for me cuz I'm up in the treehouse
Can't you read the sign? It say "no girls allowed"
dm.

See you next week.

Everyone here hates everyone here..

for doing the same thing that they do. -ltj

I think it's time to let it go.
Leave it alone.
Take your own advice and keep it to yourself.
I know being a hypocrite is in these days, but go against the grain for once.
So talk all the shit you want, but don't let me hear it.
And I'll do the same.
Pretend I don't exist.
And I'll do the same for you.
The world's better off that way.
I don't need this daily petty drama.
Just let these sleeping dogs lie.

Someone needs to give you a busted lip...

..to match the rest of your face. dm.

Just so you know: anorexics are sad, not sexy.
But, please skip another meal so the other side of your face caves in.
And if you think the metal in your mouth is the only thing stopping your supermodel career, I'd think again.
Unless, of course, you're aspiring to be the "Before" picture for a rhinoplasty clinic.
If so, good luck with that, you'll do very well.

You wouldn't know a good thing...

...if it came up and slit your throat.

I'm surprised you can walk upright after laying down for everyone.
I had that dream again where you're tied to the train tracks.
I got there just in time to pull up a seat and watch the gates come down.
Hoping sweet dreams come true.
I never knew the real meaning of 'good riddance' before now.

Oh, and we're giving David Copperfield the challenge.. I mean, he can make the Statue of Liberty disappear, but this one might be tricky.
Ha.. tricky.

It should be a good week.. no work to worry about.
Casinos will be one night, although I don't plan on spending much... who does?
Tuesday is the Early November show and their CD release- buy it, it's great!
Wednesday is anniversary dinner at the best Italian joint around.
Friday is Reel Big Fish and MxPx!!
Saturday is dinner with the grandmother and sister.
Sunday is Trip Kings at the Troc- buy tickets, they're only 10 bucks!!
Looking forward to a good week, but I've got some work to do in between all the festivities. Finding a new job for one thing. But unemployment sounds nice for a while.
I'm so tired, I'm going to bed right now.

Music from the window

Quiet, lazy afternoon.
Stewing in my thoughts.
The irony in insincere apologies.
A means to an end.
I know you're not supposed to wish time away or you'll end up wishing your life away, but just this once it might be worth it.
Why am I still inside?
I've been awake for 4 hours and my phone battery is almost dead.
I've come to embrace the delete key.
Erasing from online.
Erasing from my phone book.
Erasing from my life.
Dreaming of fall.
Changing leaves.
Changing lives.
Your (sex) life of crime.
I'll have more free time now.
Maybe I'll read a few more books.
"This story's getting old. The homewrecker with a heart of gold."
Any time now- it'll be back like a boomerang.
Let's get on with it.

No more bets

You're just like the A.C. games.

Drawing people in until they realize there's no real payoff.

Always open and inviting until they've lost it all.

The house always wins.

Stop burning bridges..

"...And drive off of them (please) so I can forget about you."

-----> <3
New song.... thanks for the inspiration.

Close the curtain on this confessional
and slit your wrists
Cause hell's too good for you.
And don't pretend it's unintentional
You had the itch
Let me scratch it 'til you bleed the way I do.

I hope you feel like martyr
As I squeeze a bit harder
Around your throat.
I'll push you to the edge now
A little farther
And down you'll go.

I listened to you say it like you mean it
Now you can hear me say it like I hate you.
All those words I had to force out
They just meant I wanted you to lay down.
And you can listen to me laugh
When the shards from your broken glass heart
Puncture and tear your lungs
Until you can't utter another fucking lie.
----->XO

"Cause you're beautiful just not on the inside.. light comes from within, those beaming eyes don't seem so bright." ~ Saves the Day

Maybe it's not a cheerful intro, but it's gloomy outside, so it's fitting. I feel like I haven't been on here in a while. Been having too much fun away from the computer I guess. That's not a bad thing. My day off for the 4th of July was awesome. The night before we went out to celebrate my buddy Danielle's birthday at Applebee's. Maureen got to come for a while and drink with us. Then she spent the night and we slept in before going to my Dad's for swimming and BBQ food. We were drinking Mike's Hard frozen Lemonade, so we had to stay until I could see straight again. Then, I got to play some poker later on with the guys. I'm about to do that right now actually, but with a bigger group of guys at the bowling alley.

Go see Superman Returns! It's good.

dm.

The internet is the new bathroom wall...

and away messages are the new graffiti. dm.

Feel free to set yourself up for the fall.
Like a standing domino just waiting to be tipped.
With all that hot air, it won't be long before that house of cards gets blown down.
The charges are set, just make sure to clear the area before you trigger the implosion.
Just know I'll be watching from the grandstand.
Like a race fan just waiting for the inevitable crash.

Sleep tight. Keep one eye open.